Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Culinerapy Graveyard

Since I began this blog, a little over three months ago, I have learned a lot about myself. I've learned that even on the worst days, sitting down to write to you about the things on my mind and in my kitchen always makes me feel better. I've discovered I can be childishly impatient when it comes to html code and uploading photos and anything technically-related to the site (you should hear the exaggerated sighs and groans that come out of me while that "Uploading..." wheel spins). I've come to realize that the quiet hours spent stirring, chopping and baking are a vital part of my happiness, a way for me to step away from the clatter of life and focus on the simple promise of a mound of flour in front of me.

Something else I've learned is that, try as I might, I just can't fake it. I'll admit, there have been times when I've wanted to lie to you. On occasion, after spending hours researching recipes, shopping for ingredients, prepping, chopping, cooking -- not to mention doing the dishes (my god, the dishes!) -- I've ended up with results that are less than spectacular. And after all that time and effort, and all those good intentions, let me tell you how much I've wished I could lie to you and pass it off as a success. I've considered reworking the recipe for you, and reimagining the results... after all, it's just me here in the kitchen. No one would know if I fudged the results a little. But, fortunately, I've never been able to do it. This humble sliver of land I've staked out on the World Wide Web means an awful lot to me, dear readers, and it matters a great deal to me that I can stand behind every word I write here.

So, I hereby present to you a journey through the Graveyard of Rejected Recipes that never made it onto these pages.

To begin, the very recipe I made tonight: a particularly acute failure, since it is remarkably simple. But this is exactly why I refuse to share it with you, because something this simple better be perfect -- and this one was not. I call this Overpowering Tahini and Garlic Hummus...



And these, which were supposed to be Homemade English Muffins but instead were Not-Quite English Muffins, More Like Dinner Rolls...



This was Practically Inedible Chicken Salad...




And The Thai Coconut Soup That Reduced Me To Tears in the Grocery Store (and even this yellow-tinted picture makes me want to cry)...




Some Slightly Boring Grilled Balsamic Veggies...




And, last, but not least, Tough and Bitter Braised Artichokes...




It hurts a little, to look at those pictures. But the thing about the kitchen is that there's always something in the fridge waiting to surprise you; always a basket of berries or brick of dark chocolate around the corner to help you forget your latest disaster. And, for each of those photos above, there are dozens of meals that went unphotographed that were blissful enough to keep me going back to the kitchen.

Needless to say, I don't have a recipe for you today. But my fridge is full, and my pantry runneth over, which is a promise for something delicious, soon.

2 comments:

  1. It is so true that sometimes I want recipes to turn out to be cookbook worthy and they just are not. Last night's dinner is one example. My baked taquitos tasted wonderful, but were less than appetizing looking. I was tempted to post the recipe, but decided against filling up the world wide web with a less than stellar recipe. There are already enough of those out there.

    I commend you for not posting just to post.

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